"The Dancer"

Well, even though I don't necessarily know who I am typing this to, I know who it is for, and it is for me. I feel the need to document, starting from the very beginning, my troubles and tribulations with RSD so I can maybe find the link to where my body took over and my mind just began a passenger along for this crazy ride.

First off, I was a dancer from the time I could say "Mommy, I want to be a ballerina!" and that is what I did, I became one. Although, it took 12 years and a plethora of conditions to make me even considered myself a dancer and this was because of my insane insecurities of never being good enough to say "I am a dancer". Now this doesn't mean I am not incredibly grateful for those incredible, amazing and ah just wonderful years, because I am, but I wasn't grateful then...

When I look back at this time, from what I can recall, the best part was being onstage-seriously not a joke! Now that may sound odd considering how insecure I am, but that was the beauty of it because I was no longer an insecure child I was a character and it had NOTHING to do with me (even though it was technically me dancing). That feeling of being someone new, and telling another story is almost like writing, it gives me that feeling of freedom to just be hidden beneath the character, and hidden beneath the words.

This is why I had contemplating starting a blog, for 2 almost 2 1/2 years because this isn't just any story, but mine. So owning up to all my insecurities, all my faults and all my pain, I cannot even put into words how frightening this all is and I think it isn't even about knowing someone else may, but probably not, read this but I will read this!

Okay, well you know my background, well you know I was a dancer, and the funny thing is that was my "label" at school, in life, I was the dancer with curly blond hair. Which when I think about it, is probably a big reason for my increasing insecurity now, because I am not that person anymore, NO more hiding and I have to be Skyler.

XX,
Skye